quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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