I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
