That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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