i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
