What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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