remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
