Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
