I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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