It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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