I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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