Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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