next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
