Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
