Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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