so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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