I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
