coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
