i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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