check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize