the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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