Jerry, you need to find god
kristin has been a bad kristin
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize