I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
