What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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