I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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