why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Randomize
