How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Rumble strips road head = magical
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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