How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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