Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
