Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
