You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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