I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I skipped work to stalk him.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
