Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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