I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
