so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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