chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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