Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
