your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
