I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
