the new term for farting is butt boxing.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
