it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
