Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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