Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
