i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
