Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
