Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
