So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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