sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize