how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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