Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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