I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize