Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
