I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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