We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Randomize
