so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
