All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
