I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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