I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
