Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize