Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
