i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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