who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
