I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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