Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
