...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
