I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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