I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
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