He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
pray to the hookup gods
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
