you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
