id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
