It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
